The holiday season is here, and that means tons of food, plenty of family, and countless amounts of money being spent. This time of the year brings us lots of happiness and lots of stress. As a child, during the holiday season, we would travel to Eastman Georgia to meet up with the rest of our family. My Mom would buy us new clothes (she would give you that look and say, “don’t mess these clothes up, this is your Christmas stuff”). Then she would rent a car to drive into town and she would tell everyone it was hers. We would “ball out” the whole trip; she was spending money left and right like she had it. I knew the truth, the way her account was set up, she had a checking and a savings! My Mom would throw caution to the wind and enjoy every moment, with no regard for tomorrow. It’s not that my Mom was irresponsible. She gave everything she had each and every day. She worked so freaking hard, just to make enough money to be broke!
This was the one time of the year she could walk tall and hold her head high; she was somebody. I am sure this story isn't unique to my Mom. We all have experienced this at some point in our lives. Thanksgiving and Christmas have passed and now it's December 31st; New Year’s Day is upon us. We begin to set back into reality. We remember we have to go back to work and the rent is due in 2 days. You think to yourself “OH JESUS, what am I gonna do now?”
We prioritize what must be done, and make a list.
- Rent/Bills have to be paid – Check, I was responsible and put that money aside.
- Grocery shopping – Check, holiday food is expensive and does not last long, it’s all gone when the last person fixes their to-go plate.
- Kids and back to school hairdos – Check, I set that money aside as well, I made sure the kiddos will be sharp for their first day back.
- School clothes for the kids – Check, Thank God they didn’t test me and play in those Christmas clothes.
- I have to get my hair done for work – Ohhhhhhhh I am out of coins because, like most of us, the way my bank account is set up, I have a checking and a savings.
With fists balled up you ask yourself, “what am I going to do? I’ve got to get this hair done and I don’t have the money for it. I’m tired, I’m so tired of being sick and tired. You know what, I’ll go Natural. I’m sick of this hair anyway.”
At some point in time, every Woman of Color has had that conversation with herself and asked those same questions. To answer these questions, first we have to define what GOING NATURAL means? Most people hear Natural and think chemical free. It is impossible to be completely chemical free. We all put chemicals in our hair at some point to help us manage it. Natural hair by definition is
NATURAL HAIR – hair that hasn't been altered by chemical straighteners, including relaxers and texturizers. Pressed hair may still be considered natural because once washed, the texture usually returns to its unaltered state. The term natural refers to the hair in its natural growth state.
Now that we know what Natural refers to, let's talk about whether or not it’s a journey you’d like to embark on?
Let’s talk about a few of the top cons? The pros are easy, the cons are typically what keeps us from taking the step.
The Big Chop - The Big Chop is the act of cutting off your relaxed or chemically treated hair revealing your natural hair texture. The big chop is the easiest way to become 100% natural. Those who do the big chop typically transition, letting their hair grow out and not chemically treating it, for a couple of months before cutting their hair. The Big Chop starts out as a con and quickly becomes a pro. The con is driven by the initial fear of losing all of your hair, which is terrifying for most women.
The Big Chop is so influential for so many reasons. The first is, you won't have to manage two very unique textures of hair. Having your strong, resilient, natural hair at the root and your fragile, weakened, processed hair at the ends, can make doing your hair a difficult task. The needs of the two textures are completely different, so you will have to be cognizant of satisfying both.
Another huge benefit of The Big Chop is self discovery. For most women, their hair is their shield. It protects them from the world and all of its judgment. It's worn like a Badge of Honor, hiding all of her imperfections and giving her a sense of beauty that can be called upon in a moment's notice. Guess what ladies, here's a secret that you may not know. Strength being drawn from a freshly shaved head is something that is derived from thousands of years of heritage. It didn't begin with you.
Here's a little history lesson. The Asante / Ashanti were the largest and most powerful of the tribes in the forest region of southern Ghana, by people named as the Akan. The people of this Warrior Tribe wore bald heads to include the woman. They displayed their egg shaped heads as a sign of beauty, intelligence and as a representation of their relationship to God's people. The Denisovans are known in the science community as a superior Human Species as opposed to the Neanderthals. Denisovan DNA has been confirmed by many scientists, they are known for their extensive knowledge, superior height, and dominant muscular structure. The Denisovans dawned very little hair and had unusually egg-shaped heads. Many African Women found power, beauty and inner strength in wearing bald or almost bald heads. The warrior women in Marvel’s Black Panther series is a great example. Though a fictional story, the beliefs and traditions of African culture are accurately depicted in the movie franchise.
Many women on this journey discover an inner power that they never knew existed. They become confident and display a beauty that most are mesmerized by completely. This journey is unique to you, but most women experience this phenomenon and don't know why. It's Your Beauty, Embrace It!
It Does Not Fit My Lifestyle - The fear of having to manage your hair on a daily basis isn't a reality most women want to encounter. Our natural hair can be very difficult to manage and even more difficult to tame. We just don't have an extra 45-60 minutes a morning to do our hair! Well, that statement is both true and false. Going natural isn't just about changing your hair, it's about changing your habits. If your goal is to maintain a European style hairdo, then you're in for a rude awakening. If you are looking to “Embrace Your Beauty”, the day to day isn't a difficult task.
There are hundreds of beautiful natural hair styles that take less than 10 minutes to do. We have to become better at applying the things and styles that fit and compliment us as a people. When you want to change it up, you always have the option to weave or wig it out. Being natural gives you ultimate versatility. You can cater your hair and style to fit any lifestyle.
People at work won't understand - Believe it or not; this reason should have been at the top of the list. Having to conform to society is a pressure that only we know. Our culture, heritage, and style is there for everyone to enjoy, except us. This is our own fault, we have to embrace our culture before we demand that anyone else allow us to enjoy it. I'll tell you what I mean.
A few years back, my business partner and I flew into town with a few corporate executives to close on a new dealership. We flew in on the company private jet, and rented a Cadillac Escalade to run our things to the hotel. We all went to our rooms, showered, changed, and came back down stairs to head out for dinner and drinks (we went hard that night). We pulled up to Ruth’s Chris Steak House blasting 50 Cent (in da club). When we pulled up I panicked and said, “turn that down”. They all laughed and replied, “why, we are partying tonight.” Everyone thought it was so cool for this 45-55 year old group of white men to be listening to 50 cent. Not one side eyed look, not one please turn that down, nothing but smiles. It pissed me the (you know what) off! This is my music, my culture, yet I'm judged harshly for enjoying it. It comes with all sorts of negative notions and insinuations when I enjoy it. Because our music, culture and heritage isn't accepted so we are forced to enjoy it in private. Correction, it's not acceptable for us.
The same holds true to our beauty. Everyone can enjoy our look and our beauty but us. Black women can't wear certain things to the workplace because it looks too voluptuous, but other women can wear it just fine. It's offensive when we do it, but why? It's offensive because we all conform to the common narrative, we all conform to the business or professional look standard that was set years ago. We look different, we are built different, and that is not wrong, it's just different. In order to change that we have to first Embrace it ourselves, we have a duty to display it in the workplace more often. It is who we are, it will become the norm, others will start to accept it from us, just like they accept it from other women.
Natural Hair Products are too expensive - This is one of those topics that frustrate me. Embrace Hair and Skin Care LLC manufactures and develops products for black hair and skin, so this topic is near and dear to my heart. The answer lies in a few short words.
No, my products aren’t only for women with natural hair.
Yes, my products are more expensive than some others on the market. It is more expensive because of the quality of materials used, not what hair it is intended to be used for.
No, we don't use any of the harmful chemicals typically found in moisturizers, conditioners, and shampoos.
Yes, our products are designed specifically to be used with Black Hair Types.
It's UGLY - This sounds ridiculous to some of you I know, but it's a real fear. Don't feel bad that you think this way, you have been taught to feel this way. It's a learned behavior and it can easily be unlearned. I'll give you an example of a few other things that were known to be unattractive, but once accepted by Western Civilization they are now known to be a sign of beauty.
Full Lips - Full Lips (Big Lips) were known to be a very unattractive trait up until a few years ago. Razor thin lips highlighted with bold color was known as the beauty standard for decades. Once accepted by Western Civilization and promoted by Angelina Jolie as a sign of beauty, women of all cultures started to pay to have their lips enhanced. The full look is in and desired today, it has become a multi-million dollar industry. The Kardashians for example. All of them have had lip fillers to achieve the full lip look.
Full Rear Ends - Big Butts were a big no no for women chasing beauty as late as the early 2000s. The Baywatch cast and Victoria's Secret models are examples of what most women wanted to look like. They were all very slim, with very little curvature and super slim faces. The standard held true until Western Civilization decided to adopt curves and display it as a sign of beauty on none other than J.Lo. She took the world by storm with her butt, it was an American icon. Now women all across the world spend billions of dollars a year plumping up their rear ends in hope of being desired for it.
High Cheekbones - Growing up in the 80s and 90s you got teased if you had high cheekbones. Women would wear makeup that would give the illusion of lower cheekbones. Women would focus on the lower jaw line and the cheeks themselves, giving themselves the full face look. Today high cheekbones are a must have for beauty. Guess when it changed, you got it, when Western Civilization accepted it and displayed it as a sign of beauty.
I hope you see where I'm going with this. We can Embrace our Beauty at any time. We don't have to wait for anyone to give us permission to love who we are. At EMBRACE we know that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors, even if other hair and skin care lines don’t. That indisputable fact is what led us to create our luxury line of products that caters to all types of beauty. EMBRACE is about Beauty, Culture, and Heritage. Embrace Yours! I'll end this one like I'll end them all.
Ladies, we are not trying to change the world, just the perception of what Beauty is. I watch my beautiful daughters fight to fit in, fight to be accepted, they are willing to sacrifice their health and their Real Beauty for a moment in the sun. Sitting by while companies prey on our woman, stealing our beauty and selling it back to us with a promise backed by wet toilet paper. Selling us harmful products designed to rid us of our Natural Beauty, simply to keep us coming back for more. If you are happy with your hair and pleased with the products you use, by all means continue to use them, share them so others know they exist. If you are not happy with your damaged and broken hair, if you are tired of the ‘let it grow’ then ‘cut it all off again’ cycle, make a change. We would love to be a part of your journey. Thank you and remember IT'S YOUR BEAUTY EMBRACE IT.
Lucan Breedlove
Co-Founder
Embrace Hair and Skin Care LLC